Treatment of Cows and Right to Life

I have seen cows strolling around the city streets in all areas of India. Even the “elegant” areas are not cow-free….cows don’t read the street signs and one town is as good as the next. They tend to be on the skinny side, since they are nibbling whatever they can find on city streets. They are also docile and friendly; I have never seen cows or bulls here get aggressive or vicious. They have learned to peacefully coexist with local populations. I have heard that local populations also bring them food sometimes - - like chapatis (flatbread) - - (is that nutritionally valuable for cows??) though I have never observed cows getting fed. I am told that these cows are owned by farmers, but they are set off to wander freely during the day to forage for food. If they are indeed “owned” and not homeless, I have no idea how their owners ultimately find them at the end of the day.

It seems a real contradiction; cows are worshiped and not slaughtered, yet they live such a dismal existence on the streets of the cities. I am perplexed about how people that worship these animals can still tolerate their living conditions. (That said, if they CAN’T tolerate their living conditions….I’m not certain what they can actually do about it)…I find it reminiscent, though, of Right to Life movements, where so much energy is invested in ensuring that embryos emerge as babies. But less energy is expended in ensuring that the babies born will have the infrastructure and support to live good lives, despite poverty and other conditions that will challenge their lives.

Where do you start?

There are so many issues to address in India. I think about the fact that mosquitoes carry dengue fever and malaria, and I find myself asking “why can’t they get a handle on managing the disease-carrying mosquitoes?” But I then answer my own question… “If you have problems with people starving, how much effort can you spend on malaria-spreading mosquitoes?” - - This can end up justifying not doing ANYTHING about ANYTHING, however. since everything pales before hunger…That’s right there at the very base of Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs…

Preventing illness in countries like India…

Disease management is different for us here, since the diseases are different. There are rampant stray animals, and Jesse and I made a mission to care for some of these animals. There is a high rate of rabies in India, so Jesse and I got rabies shots. It’s a series of 3 injections, over the course of a month; we get the last one after one year. I’m still not quite sure what it protects you from, since you STILL need to get some shots if you do get bitten, but perhaps it buys you some time?

None of us take malaria medication, and mosquitoes have become prevalent again. There are scary side effects for the malaria pills. (Adam had a bout of sleepwalking while taking these pills when we first arrived, so we all stopped.) Plus, there is no vaccination for mosquito-borne dengue fever. So basically, you really need to prevent all mosquito bites, by using repellents, sprays, etc….and then just praying…

We recently filled out the medical forms to submit to insurance for reimbursal. The list of illnesses were….unusual. We had forms for when Adam had food poisoning, and forms for when he was throwing up blood. We joked that the medical insurance companies won’t want to insure us, after this bizarre string of illnesses. My colleagues commented: On the contrary, you are now immune to so much…

Newspaper Article on GRAFT and CORRUPTION

WASHINGTON: The wave of anti-graft protests in India possibly reflects the sense among many Indians that the corruption problem is becoming worse, according to a new Gallup poll .

In 2010, almost half (47 percent) said the level of corruption in India was higher than it was five years earlier, while 27 percent said it was about the same, the poll released by the noted US public opinion agency Monday revealed.

The groundswell of public support for social activist Anna Hazare and the anti-corruption movement shows Indians recognize that the problem is endemic in their society, the poll suggested.

In response to the 2010 poll, 78 percent of Indians said corruption is widespread within the Indian government, and 71 percent said it is widespread within businesses in India.

Asked whether they thought the government was doing enough to fight corruption, more than one-third of Indians (35 percent) said yes, while half (50 percent) said no.

Unemployed Indians were particularly likely to feel the government was not doing enough to fight corruption, with nearly two-thirds (65 percent) responding that way.

Unemployed Indians were also among the most likely to say they recently found themselves in a situation in which they needed to pay a bribe.

Bribery remains widespread in Indian society; about one in five Indians (21 percent) overall said they had faced a situation in the past 12 months in which a bribe was required to solve a problem.

Among the country's unemployed, however, the figure rises to 43 percent -- an indicator that those seeking welfare and job services are among the most vulnerable.

Survey results reveal Indians do not believe the problem is getting any better and many have had to deal with corruption personally.

However, the likelihood that systemic change can be implemented largely depends on whether Indians' underlying dissatisfaction produces sustained public pressure for reform, Gallup said.

Gallup said results are based on face-to-face interviews with 6,000 adults, per survey wave. It put the maximum margin of sampling error at ±1.7 percentage points

Too big to manage

KEY values for any country should be food, shelter, and education for their people. I care less about national boundaries, and about political structures. One of the comments about India that you hear often is that it is too large, too populated, too diverse to get a handle on all of these issue. (see the National Geographic article from Delhi Struggle.) OK - - who determines the size of a country? If a billion is too many to handle, split into a more easily manageable set of 4 countries, each with 250K, and all with friendly relations and open borders, like the European Union. Also - -people say it is hard to get a handle on things (like clearing the slums) because India is a democracy, and politicians don’t want to inflame a particular community or caste. And that’s the price of a democracy. Well, I naively ask, maybe then it shouldn’t be a democracy, if the openness and inherent chaos of a democracy leaves 70% of the population underfed. Heretical and impractical views, I am sure…

The summer heat

As of May, it is clearly time to use the gym instead of the outdoors….I tried going out to walk first at 8:00, then 7:00, now 6:00 am….but no matter how early I woke up, looks like you can’t beat the heat…It was (just) under 90 degrees F only at 3:30 am or so…

Blame it on the Brits?

General mantra is that the colonization of the British is responsible for many of India’s woes. Even the caste-tensions are blamed on the British. Some of my colleagues have told me that the castes were not created by the British, of course, but the British formalized and documented and imposed caste distinctions that were otherwise not really followed. By doing this, they achieved divide-and-conquer powers, by pitting castes against one another. Adam’s school friends have also commented about the deleterious impact of the British. But THEY said that the British were responsible for smearing caste distinctions, and therefore breaking down age-old roles and responsibilities, and therefore causing chaos. So I am not certain whether the British exacerbated or reduced caste distinctions, but the British are nonetheless blamed for making things worse…

Learn from the Indians how to treat family; learn from the west how to treat everyone else…

I spoke to one of my colleagues about the generally insufficient level of community service. The needs here are clearly greater than they are in the west, yet the community involvement is somehow less. I have been told by some of my colleagues that the needs are SO great, that you don’t need to get involved in community service to be of service…you can be of service anywhere you turn. For example, one colleague told me that their family had opted to provide food and other support to their dhobi-man, the man that came to their home to pick up their laundry. I also think that people in India have to somewhat harden themselves to what they see around them, or their heads would explode. In a deeper follow-on discussion with one of my colleagues, he commented that the west needs to learn from the Indians how to treat family; India needs to learn from the west how to treat everyone else.

No water today

I got up this morning, turned on the faucet, and….nothing. We called our driver (who lived in the rooms on the rooftop, where the water tank is.) He was able to get the water going by tapping on the pipes….fortunately, the tank itself was not empty. But he has pointed out that the government water supply which flows to the tanks in the morning is diminished, now in the “hot season.” He said that government/civil service workers (some 30% of the country) make sure to divert the (dwindling) supply to their own tanks, and so the rest of us need to manage with what remains.

Driving in India

As stated repeatedly, I don’t drive in India. Amnon has driven here on occasion, and says that he isn’t bothered by it. There are many things that make driving impossible for me here….driving on the opposite side of the road (British style), stick shifts, no parking, aggressive and unforgiving drivers. I try to figure out the “syntax of driving” by observation; it’s sort of like “driving with an accent.” Big cars seem to have right of way. But then, small cars and bikes are sometimes “wiry” and slip in between. Adam’s physics teacher (an American that does drive here) said that you have to get used to the fact that drivers here only pay attention to what’s in front of them; not to the sides and rearview. Trucks often have signs painted on the back saying “please honk” - - they want drivers to honk if they are about to pass them, since the trucks apparently have no other way of knowing. Too many novel things to take into account. I’ll stick with the professional drivers…and just hope they stay sober.

YuniNet – discussion about maids/drivers and what expats pay them

I subscribe to a yahoo listserv for expats, called YuniNet. An interesting debate arose over treatment and pay for drivers and maids. I include it below, along with my summary.

On Sat, May 7, 2011 at 5:43 PM, Sara H Basson wrote:

I have enjoyed the threads related to what foreigners should or should not pay their drivers and maids. We are an American expat family in New Delhi for a year. I would be happy to talk about this over coffee!

I have gone through the various postings and I would summarize as follows:
-Indians are able to get maids for 1/10th of the "foreigner" price, and they believe the maids are no less happy or loyal. Giving them more salary creates more of a dependency and helplessness on the part of the servants.
- Some of the foreigners think that paying 10,000 rupees, even if it is an inflated "foreigner price," is a living wage.
- Some Indians point out that the extra money paid makes foreigners look foolish and the servants gloat that they have been able to cheat them.
- Some of the foreigners point out that they work for NGOs and aren't earning expat salaries...and then they just suffer the "price discrimination" for being foreign. (racial profiling!)

My position on these topics would be as follows:
- I don't think that 1000 rupees/month is a living wage in New Delhi...Let's put aside the unfortunate comment about meat; but can you buy enough fruit and vegetables? pay rent? electricity and water? Maybe some of this also comes down to what we all believe is the "minimum" that a person should be able to expect in life when they work. By western standards, we would think that you and your family should be able to afford healthy food, and a place to live that has electricity and water and a bathroom for your family. I have been told that servants can get by on less, because they can live in unorganized locations where they just take electricity and water from the grid without paying for anything. But that shouldn't be the goal.
- I have spoken to expats that also try to make sure that their servants set up bank accounts and that their children get educated. So we can start to break the cycle of poverty, and not foster "dependency."
- I have hired maids that have worked for expat families, and there is a premium to be paid. They speak English, they know international cooking and the sterilization issues for western stomachs. They come with references on letterhead from other expat families, that describe how trustworthy they are. I have trusted them with everything in our apartment; they have keys and full access. I have spoken to Indian colleagues that have had household help for years, and they still have locked rooms and limited access. I asked why they don't get references from previous employers. They said that they wouldn't trust the references; anyone can be paid off to say anything. In our case, I trust that references from other expats working for well-known companies/agencies are legitimate; that's worth a premium in and of itself.

1a. Re: :-) Price of Maids, servants,drivers
Date: Thu May 5, 2011 9:57 am ((PDT))

I agree with Lars, even though many have got triggered by it, somehow.

The same maids work in other houses and ask for a tenth of what they ask of foreigners.

My cook was polished, made momos to kathi rolls, did dishes (Indians don't have dishwashers) and was happy to get a salary of a thousand bucks (NOTE from Sara: 1000 buck = 1000 rupees = $20!)since I speak Hindi, and look like an Indian.

Her dream, of course, was to work in a wealthier house where the lady of the house could 'take care' of her family's needs.

Many of you have western notions of poverty or neediness. Too poor to eat meat!

Please do not think that you are doing any service to Indian humanity by doing this. Pitying them makes them more dependent and it feeds their helplessness.

We need to empower our employees to help themselves.

Regards,

Millie

Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone

-----Original Message-----

From: Jeanne
Sender: Yuni-Net@yahoogroups.com

Date: Tue, 3 May 2011 18:43:24

Subject: :-) Yuni-Net -- Price of Maids, servants, drivers, house keepers

I completely agree with you, Heather. I'm in the same situation. I wrote down everything I paid for in an entire month, then exchanged the currency into American dollars. I was shocked. I have paid more for just about everything than I would in the US!!! Look at our typical lifestyles... we drink wine with dinner (800 - 1200 rupees = $17-27), we like AC, TV (DVR of course!) and high speed internet access (my electric bill last month was 9,000 - $205; my internet is 3500 - $78 - it's been up to 36,000 one month last year during the summer) and big cars. I don't own a car so I spend around 25,000 on a car service ($562). My rent is just under 30,000 ($674).

The rickshaw walla charges me a minimum of $1 to go anywhere; most places, it's $10 - negotiated. While these prices may not seem unreasonable in the US, when you're not making a US salary (I make a third of what I could be making back home), this can be very, very exasperating, especially since I know other people who are being charged less just because of their skin color.

I will say that if you know the local language,that can be a huge difference in how hard you can negotiate. My son is fluent and sometimes we go into a shop and he keeps quiet listening to the shopkeepers talking around us, when I've come up with my best price, I sick him on them and he negotiates for even more in Hindi. We've done better this way. I usually have him negotiate with repairmen and such. It really goes a long way....

I love Yuni-Net, though, because there are more people like me on this list than the other lists out there for expats in India. I'm glad we have this place to go just to ask questions about what is reasonable and I welcome people like Lars giving us a reality check every once in a while. After four years, you'd think you'd be settled, but India.... aaaaah, India. You are a place that will not give up your secrets. :-)

Cheers,

Jeanne

On Sun, May 1, 2011 at 6:50 PM, Heather Sager wrote:


> Hi All,


> While not expressed particularly well, I think Lars does hit on a good point. The "expat price" of things doesn't only extend to household help. It extends to everything we purchase. In the situation where an expat can afford to pay extra, that's wonderful. And I whole-heartedly agree that treating every individual with respect is a must. There is no excuse for treating any person poorly.

> However, not every expat is here on an expat-based salary. Many of us are here working (or volunteering) for NGOs or other non-profits, and are thereby making the same salary that an Indian might (or none at all).

Unfortunately, even where we can not afford to pay extra, we are expected to. In fact, it is demanded of us.

In this case, I'm not talking about drivers or household help, I'm more speaking of every day purchases and the like. Because the majority of the expat community can and does pay whatever is demanded of them, we are all expected to pay accordingly, despite what we can or can not afford. And often, attempting to bargain the price down, even to the point where we would still be paying more than what a local would pay, results in outright refusal.

> Regardless of how angry Lars' e-mail came across, it does become exhausting after some time, to know that despite the fact that my salary is the same as any local in my position, I am expected to pay double the rent, double the utilities, and double for food, etc.

> Now, you could argue that if I can not make a salary that would afford me to pay the extra that is demanded of me, then I should either change positions or work back home, where I would be making more. But this argument would demand that only those individuals who are fortunate enough to have money on their own, or who are working for a company/corporation that can afford them a higher salary, can stay in Delhi. The alternative would be to demand a higher salary from the non-profit organization, which is not practical and amounts to a salary increase based on your ethnicity, something I'm sure we all agree in and of itself is wrong.

> I thought I would throw this argument into the mix, to give the other side's perspective.

> Heather

>
> On Sun, May 1, 2011 at 2:34 PM, Beate wrote:

>> Spoken from my heart!!!

>>>> I could not agree more with you, Tommi!

>> I happily pay every single penny to my housekeeper and to my driver. In addition to that I treat them as human beings. And guess what, Lars? It works this way too!! Not only do they enjoy working for us, they actually give us a two hundred percent service and our household is a happy place. In addition to that we actually have the opportunity to get to know this extremely complex culture a little better.

>> So, everybody, do not necessarily as the Indians do, especially in this occasion! We all know only too well how wrong they can get it sometime!!

>> Wishing you a good Sunday

>> Beate

>> --- On *Sat, 30/4/11, Inka wrote:

>> Subject: Re: :-) Yuni-Net -- Price of Maids, servants, drivers, housekeepers


>> Date: Saturday, 30 April, 2011, 12:14 PM

>> Hi there,

>> I am an expat living in Def Col - and using here my wife's Yuni-Net account to post. We are employing two full day servants and two part time ones. I couldn't disagree more with you Lars. I find your posting sad.


>> Why so?

>> You're teaching us - the naive employers on YuniNet - on the reality of Indian maids and servants. Your only point seems to be that we pay more than some locals do. That is true for sure. I guess you just haven't ever thought what kind of living these servants with 2000-4000 rupees a month salary can afford. Well, I can tell you. They live in neighborhoods we describe as slums, they don't really eat meat because they cannot afford it, they have difficulties to school their children because it also costs and their children are not able to work if they go to school. If a person with, say, 3000 rupees a month salary gets injured or seriously sick etc. his/her life will be ruined for years if not for good. He just can't afford any decent treatment.

>> If we pay a full time maid 8000-15000 rupees - it's peanuts to many of us, but hopefully it guarantees a decent standard of living to them. It really doesn't make them rich. They are still poor. With 10 000 rupees a month salary - thinking of the rent prices in Delhi - you have to struggle to provide for your family.


>> If I pay here more than many locals, I don't feel stupid or fooled. I also don't consider myself a benefactor. I think it's just decent.

>> Tommi
>>

>> *From:* Lars

>> *To:* Yuni-Net@yahoogroups.com

>> *Subject:* Re: :-) Yuni-Net -- Price of Maids, servants, drivers, housekeepers


>> Hi All,

>> I have been following the postings of highly recommended domestic help on Yuni-Net for some time and I am amazed by the prices most foreigners seams to pay. I am sure some feel they do something good but I can assure you you don't. I can also assure you that some of these highly recommended employees have not only cheated you on their compensation - that we and my (Indian) family can say after interviewing a few. Most maids seaking work from non-Indians - esp. through naive employers on Yuni-Net - charge ridiculous over-price INR 8000-12000, AND most of them are not even willing to do mandatory Police clearance and registration – guess why?

FYI only: Maids - full time 24/7 servants - from a reputable agency is INR 3000-4000 per months, max, but you have to pay the agency a INR 20.000 - that include some warranties and security. Local maids in the high-end areas of Delhi get between 600-800-1250 for cleaning etc. for 8Am-8PM service INR 1500-2500. A long term reliable family servant can get as much as INR 6000 but then we are talking about someone who is close to be a family member an in family for 10-15-20 years or longer. A good driver is approx INR 7000-9000. If maid or driver get food or lodging it is less - 1000 for food and 1000 for lodging in servant quarters.

>> No wonder Indians much too often have an impression that foreigners are fools throwing away money – that’s why we are most of the times asked 2.5-3 times the price "locals" pay, we don't negotiate, we are not informed, and many don't care...and we pay. But we complain about how we are treated. Well I don't complain I get the right service, get the right price and only pay when it’s properly "delivered"/provided - just like most Indians do since life gets easier then.

>> Hope that helps someone.

>> Best regards / Namaste

>> Lars

Weekend in Rishikesh

We spent a lovely weekend out of Delhi in Rishikesh, a city about 5 hours away from Delhi and known for various adventure sports. There is white water rafting on the Ganga River, and bungee jumping, and trekking. It is also a major spiritual center for India, with lots of yoga and holy men etc. (Maybe because it’s on the Ganga river?) For some reason, it also attracts lots and lots of Israelis. Menus actually list “Israeli salad” as an option! While there, we opted to do some mountain hiking. We were told by the guide that it wouldn’t be too onerous, since we drive to the top of the mountain and then hike down. I figured gravity is in our favor, what can be bad? Plus, I walk a mile or two every day; I should be relatively fit. Wrong. The tourist office really needs to have signs that say things like: “Warning – not suitable for children under 12 or pregnant women,” like they say on amusement park rides…I know how to read the signals. It was a lovely trek in the beginning, but we had a 16 km hike down the mountain…and somewhere around kilometer 10, I really wanted to sit on the sidelines. But what can you do? You’re in the middle of a mountain…We ultimately made it down, but I was nearly in tears and I couldn’t walk down steps for the next 5 days…Amnon and the boys then went white water rafting on the Ganges, and had a great time. I stayed behind and watched movies on TV.

Weekend in Rishikesh - Photos

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Thailand - -photos

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Thailand

Adam’s spring break was in March, and we took a family vacation to Thailand. I have included a link to some of our pictures. Southern Thailand had flooding and storms, and so we stayed in Bangkok. The landlady for our apartment in Delhi also has an apartment in Bangkok (a magnificent apartment) with a maid, and she kindly offered the boys the chance to stay there. Amnon and I stayed at a nearby hotel. A break from Delhi was welcome. Taxis and traffic were more disciplined, and there were fewer stray animals walking the streets. We went to the Floating Market (we were on a boat, and salespeople are along the sides….”hooking you in” when you show interest in their wares.) We saw the palace, and temples with golden and emerald Buddhas….(I didn’t know that Buddhism had such an ostentatious side.)

It was also an opportunity to reflect on the evolution of family vacations. When your kids are really little, they travel where you want to or need to travel. Amnon and I went to Rome when Jesse was an infant (we took him with us since he was a nursing baby), and we saw all the sights with Jesse carried in a snuggly. When the kids are older, you plan vacations that will appeal to them, with water parks and amusement parks included. Now the boys are teenagers and beyond, and requirements change once again. We are not the source of their entertainment. The boys went to clubs and then slept late; Amnon and I went to landmarks and “native” shopping markets. We converged for meals.

Preparing mentally for the return to the US

When we were coming to India, I knew there would be lots of unexpected surprises. We would forget things in the US that we discovered we needed. We would overpay for something in India that it turned out we didn’t need. There would be any number of frustrations, big and small. I promised myself to be “shanti” (peaceful and easygoing) about anything that went awry, and to take it with humor. For the most part, I have succeeded. Even when something was upsetting or scary or otherwise frustrating, I was able to remind myself that it was all part of the incredible experience, and even if there was something “bad” we were only here temporarily, and we can tolerate a lot if we know it’s temporary. Now we have the return trip upcoming, and I can’t play the same psychological game, and say this is all a temporary adventure, since now it is “real life.” But somehow, I need to preserve the same “shanti” attitude, since challenges surely await…

Getting closer to the end of our journey

The planning phases have begun for the end of this incredible international assignment. Jordan has left India and gone to Israel. Adam still has school till the end of May; as soon as he finishes (the very next day), he, Jesse, and Tom will leave India and go to Europe, and Jordan will meet them there. They will travel through Europe for a few weeks and then return to New York. (First Jesse and Adam; then Tom and Jordan). I will leave India on July 15th. Amnon will stay here after we leave, since his contract with the Indian construction infrastructure company continues till November 2011. And after that, we shall see what happens.

The Lonely Planet – Indian commentary

India seems to be “grittier” than other countries in the developing world; I am not sure why. We have spoken to friends and family that have traveled extensively in Southeast Asia, and have been to other developing countries that are still poor. And yet India seems to be tougher. There is a lot of scamming here. I have shared our own little scamming stories, and how difficult it is to get a taxi or rickshaw to use a meter when you are white. I read the Lonely Planet guide, about ritualized scams for foreigners in India. I don’t know if this is as pervasive in other countries? There are apparently very common scams for foreigners, when they are looking for a hotel, or a travel office. A tout comes over and tells the foreigner that the place they are looking for has moved, has been closed, burned down. But good news – he knows about another hotel he can take them to. Or, he will take them to the newly built travel office that the foreigners didn’t know existed. The unwitting and grateful foreigner takes him at his word, and then gets overcharged at the new site, and the helpful tout gets a cut. There is some other known scam whereby foreigners are asked to work with a local to ship gems overseas, with the promise of a significant cut of the profits. The Lonely Planet blog had someone post query…”When I travel through India, are my internal organs safe?” I thought that this was a humorous exaggeration. Then I saw the Indian movie Ghajini where poor girls from a village were kidnapped and drugged, and a kidney was removed. I don’t know if art-imitates-life, but the Lonely Planet quip didn’t seem humorous after that…

Feeding and caring for dogs

There is a stray dog that hangs around the guard booth outside our apartment. The guards often take on “ownership” roles with the strays that stay near them; giving them leftover food scraps, etc. The standard fare for dogs in Delhi is not packaged dog food. Even dogs with owners are generally fed rice, milk, and chapati/roti (flat bread). The packaged dog foods here are the same imported brands that we get in the west, like Pedigree. A large package costs $20 or so. (And Kimbo’s fancy-pants German Shepherd puppy food is even more.) Jesse has done volunteer work with a vet in Delhi, and he asked whether it is nutritionally sound to feed dogs leftovers from human food. The answer was no; the packaged dog foods do a much better job of meeting the animal’s nutritional requirements. That’s fine, but someone needs to come up with a local Indian brand that is within reasonable cost for locals. $20 would be a week’s salary for the guards…

I have been supplying packaged dog food for the stray near our apartment, and for the strays near the IBM Research office. One of the guards on our street came to me a few days after the food had run out. He said the dog was no longer eating the chapatis that he gave her; could I get her more Pedigree? I did, but I am also wondering about whether good deeds can have bad unintended consequences….When we leave India, will the dog resume eating the standard street fare? I have to assume that survival instincts will kick in, once the packaged foods are unavailable… I have opted to continue feeding the dogs with dog-appropriate food while I am here; trusting that their survival skills will prevail once we leave.

This same dog recently gave birth to three puppies. One of them was hit by a passing motorcycle. (I am surprised that any dogs survive the traffic here.) Another was clearly ill; the guard didn’t think this one would survive, either. Jesse and Adam did a “rescue operation” - - taking the puppies by taxi to the vet. The vet treated them both, and asked for us to care for them for a few days while she arranged for them to get placed in a private home. She said that the ill puppy, now treated, would do fine. They were as cute as can be…here are some pictures from the days they spent with us.

The States of India

India has 28 states. One of my US colleagues prepared me not to think about these as similar to US-states; it is more like European Union….28 states with their own languages, cultures, and customs, all COMPLETELY distinct. Adam has joked that they shouldn’t be called “states” at all, they are all SO DIFFERENT…they should be separate continents, separate galaxies…But then he humorously points out the “similarities” (at least, from our goora (= white person’s) perspective…) We are perceived as walking wallets in all of the states we have visited; the taxis refuse to go by the meter in any of them, often claiming the meters don’t work; there are stray animals and debris on the streets, impossible traffic, power outages and undrinkable water…So from Adam’s perspective, and our outsider view, the similarities outweigh the differences…

Walking your dog and racial profiling

We have ongoing issues about where to walk your dog, how to clean up after him, where to throw it afterwards. Tomy has been told by one of the “park attendants” that shows up in our park periodically that Kimbo cannot walk there, and he threatened the dog with a stick. He has been told by a guard outside one of the apartments that he can’t take Kimbo on the public street. All of this peculiar, in a place where the stray animals are (obviously) going anywhere they want. The boys mused as to whether there might be a law that says your dog must be walked only in certain areas. I said it is not beyond the realm of possibility that such a law could exist in India. The boys think the guard was singling us out as white - - he wasn’t giving the same instructions to local Indians that also walk their dogs there. I spoke to some Indians; they indicated that they patently ignore any such comments from guards and parking attendants. So maybe we are being singled out because we are the only ones that would actually listen.

India - -The place to go to address the BIG issues

On so many topics….if you want to address the really big issues, India is the place. For Amnon, in construction, this is where the “big stuff” is still being built, the infrastructure that will enable India to emerge from its “emerging country” status. In education, or poverty, you are dealing with some of the most unfortunate people on earth; this is not poverty at the margins. In women’s issues, the discrimination and horrors faced by girls and women are much more glaring than the west. In the west, we talk about whether a “glass ceiling” remains in the workforce; whether men are sharing more of the “second shift” of labor when husband and wife return from work. In India, there are issues like dowry burnings (when the new wife didn’t bring sufficient dowry), and honor killings. Given the preference for male children, and the willingness to take drastic measures to ensure you have a male child, some areas in India now have ratios of 60 boys to 40 girls. Big, big problems to address.

Indian Optimism

Data shows that Indians are among the most optimistic people in the world; Europeans are much less so. But when you look at people on the streets, you feel this undercurrent of desperation, hopelessness, boredom. So many people on the streets have these low-paying and largely boring jobs, like sitting in or outside a hot guard booth all day on the outside of a 3-family home, reading the newspaper and chatting with other guards, coping with the heat.

Who is John Galt?

There is a certain type of response that you often hear when the topic comes up about changing something in India. The listener will often smile, and say something like “Well, this is India” or “It’s too hard to change XYZ” or “It’s too hard to change XYZ quickly.” I wonder whether people are too tolerant about things that need changing. I am reminded of the defeated expression, “Who is John Galt?” (as in – “you can’t fight City Hall”) from Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged.” Things here ARE changing, and they are changing quickly….but with more of a collective sense of “we will not accept this anymore,” perhaps it can be accelerated further. Or maybe they would just end up banging their heads against the wall…and so stoicism is a good thing.

The role of little girls – history, culture, and unintended consequences

The issues around girls and young women in India are daunting, and include some horrific acts like foeticide, abandonment/murdering infant girls, and dowry killings.

I think there are a lot of cultural norms that culminate in these problems. As I have mentioned earlier, I try to separate in my head which aspects that I observe are just the cultural norms of a different place (e.g., eating different types of foods - - you might *like* something more or less, but that is an issue of *taste*; you can’t make an objective judgment that this type of food is “bad,” unless it is objectively less healthy). Then there are things like the preference for boys, and the cultural phenomena that lead to that. And there, I do take a stand that these “cultural phenomena” are just not good.

Some background. India does not have a well-developed social security system, and there is apparently more dependence on the support of your kids as you age. The cultural norm in most Indian states is that the son (with his wife and children) live with their parents. This is certainly the norm among my colleagues, unless they are working in Delhi and their parents are in some distant state.

The girl’s family, on the other hand, is often expected to provide a dowry when they offer their daughter for marriage. And ongoing - - this part amazes me - - the girl’s family is never supposed to expect *anything* from their daughter and son-in-law. There is a saying that they should not even drink a glass of water in their married daughter’s home. (This is certainly not “followed” by all families - -but this is also not just the custom of some fringe communities…) I *think* there is a natural closeness and co-dependence between girls and their parents, so the *system* here seems to have violated a natural order, in favor of sexism.

The message that I glean here: We have given you our daughter, this burden for you to support. We have given you a dowry to soften the blow. We will not increase your burdens by also visiting your home, or expecting any care or nurturing from our now-married daughter.

Sane people in any culture agree that foeticide or infant abandonment is horrific, and it is illegal here. In fact, it is illegal for hospitals to reveal the gender of your baby if you do prenatal testing, to reduce the likelihood of female foeticide.

But if you ratchet back to root causes….the customs here have made girl-children less desirable. Let’s think particularly about poor families, scraping along. Parents of girl children need to save for dowries, and then hand their daughters off for good when they get married. There is really no dividend, then, in having daughters. I imagine that parents in this scenario also won’t “stretch” to educate their daughters…why bother? And this then becomes self-fulfilling - - when they do marry off their daughter to another family, she may in fact not have any education or good earning-skills…so she really may be more of a “burden for them to support” without skills to contribute to feeding and clothing her family.